The Onion
VOLUME 38   ISSUE 28    7 AUGUST 2002



Driving in my Cadillac, I was suprised to find a little Nash Rambler about a third my size riding right on my ass. Then he had the nerve to start honking his little toot of a horn. Beep! Beep! I figured I'd show him a thing or two, so I pushed my foot to the floor to give the guy a shake, but the guy stayed right there up my ass, like he had the brake on, or something. Damn, he had some guts!

I shoved the Caddy into passing gear and took off with a gust and we're soon doin' ninety and I figured I'd left him in the dust, but when I looked in my mirror, there he was, right behind me. That guy could fly! By now we're doing a hundred and ten. We were in a race. Letting a Rambler pass my Cadillac would be a big disgrace; but the guy must have wanted to pass me, he kept tooting his horn, Beep! Beep!

O.K. Now we're doing a hundred and twenty, as fast as I could go and the Rambler pulled up right beside me, just like I was going slow, and the guy rolled down his window and hollered in my ear, "Hey buddy! How do I get this car out of second gear?"

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Above: Self-proclaimed black sheep Tim, Jack, and Anna Klessig (L to R) with their parents.
Above: Former AMC autoworker, Michael Galligan  next to the Nash Rambler from California.

Then we took a corner and I side-swiped a truck, so I crossed my fingers for good luck. I looked again and the guy beside me was white as a ghost. We had flames coming out from the side and I could feel the tension; Man, what a ride! Then I looked in the mirror and a red light was blinking and the cops were after me; that's what I was thinking. Well they arrested me and threw me in jail, so I called my daddy to bring me the bail. He said, "Son, you're going to drive me to drink. Leave them little Nashes alone; that's what I think."

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