Today's Special
 

 I was standing at the hot food display in a
corporate cafeteria when I was approached by
a slight, attractive blonde whom I evidently
knew. I can recall her face now but I do not
know anyone that looks like her. We spoke
about the meal offerings and fell in love.
Not a little bit...a lot, and it was just
that quick. The feeling of love was intense
and very real. We did not kiss, nor did we
say much, but in love we were. We planned to
leave for a lake retreat on the upcoming
Friday. She left the cafeteria without food.

No sooner did she leave than the love I felt
for her faded completely. The sense of loss
was palpable and as my head cleared I came
to the realization that I had fallen in love
and made plans with at least 2 other women,
one each day in the past 2 days. I could not
remember who they were and certainly did not
love them anymore either, having fallen in
and out of love with them, as quickly as I
did with this blonde. 

 Now in distress I tore my clothing off,
covering myself instead, with a greasy wet
plastic sheet. I was cold and worried for
not only did I did not love the blonde
woman, I did not want to go anywhere with
her. She was quite beautiful as I am sure
were the other women, but I did not find
them attractive. Each of the loves was
intense and real enough while I was with the
women, but not the slightest remnant
remained of any of them. 

 I began daveting*,  rocking forward at
the waist, my head bobbing lower each time.
It was penance or simply a motor-reaction to
the stress of it all. It would have been
wise to break off some of my upcoming
romantic rendezvous, if only I could
remember anything about them...worry
overcame me.

 I then woke up, remembering not only the
dream and feeling the worry, but the
imbedded feeling of deep new love. I had
remembered new love precisely in this dream,
as real as the feeling of falling, lust and
fear that I have felt many times before. But
never this, never deep love. Intense
pointless and misguided love to be sure, but
love all the same. The next day was a normal
one, as were the ones that followed. The
dream predicted nothing. Perhaps it was not
an clear foretelling, but an abstracted or
symbolic remembrance or reckoning. 
 
 

*Daveting (sp?) is yiddish for this motion.
It is done during prayer, I believe only by
men....having only seen men do it. I would
prefer banging my head with a plank if in
search of minor masochism and devotional
focus.