Shangaied::Night

mall parking lot number six, near the entrance for the cinemas.

beeps open the door on their car, right next to us. I slam the

brakes, we're parked and running past Filene's to Hoyts

Cinema 18 where we plan to meet Edgardo, who has just returned

from the family's hotel in Argentina. Having worked twenty hour

days at the hotel and now studying ten or more hours daily,

Edgardo said he's ready to "see any movie you like."

Chan film "Shanghai Knights" sequel to "Shanghai Noon" teaming

Chan with Owen Wilson, again. "Jackie Chan?," said Edgardo, "Todo

buen. Re-cool! [in Argentina when things are more than just

good, they add "re" to the beginning of the word to make it

Steve Fisher, of Prague has a small part in it, as some of the

movie was filmed near Prague. To quote from Steve's notes:

I'm off for two days to the spa city of Karlovy Vary (Carlsbad)

to join Jackie Chan and Owen Wilson on the set of "Shanghai Knights"

for my "big" one line "performance" with them in that "film".

My bit part in "Shanghai Knights was a lot of fun, as I had a great

scene with Jackie Chan (a very nice fellow) and Owen Wilson

who is an extremely bright guy (nominated for an Oscar for his screenplay

with Ben Stiller - "The Amazing Tennenbaums") and a very funny actor. Half

the time he didn't even follow the script, just improvised his own lines,

which were funnier that what had been written for him. Exhausting work

as we filmed from 7PM to 7AM. Having not slept at all, I was pretty

dizzy by 4:30 in the morning, doing my scene again for the 30th time

(they shot it with one camera from five different angles, sixs takes

each.) They did manage to complete the scene in one night rather than

the two for which they hired me, so I got home a day early with two

days pay and three days per diem. Nice work, when you can get it.

Willis, where Steve had one line: "Goon up!" which was a signal to the

men in the barracks he shared with Willis, that the Nazi guards were coming.

Much of that film was shot on a soundstage and sets near Prague. As we watched

"Hart's War", waiting for Steve, we managed to catch a fleeting glimpse of

his face and a longer shot of most of his head, sipping a cup of coffee in

the out-of-focus foreground. They did use his "Goon up!" twice, once in

a scene where he was not even present. As Steve said about that filming,

Willis was also given to constant ad-libbing, as he inserted the word "fuck"

into his lines with great regularity. For example, according to Steve:

Willis version - "If you fuck with this mission, I'll kill you too."

Original script - "What the hell do you know about duty?"

Willis - "Fuck you Hart!" What the fuck to you know about fucking duty

in the film, but at least we know who to look for, after we find Edgardo...

the tote-board is showing one after another of the films "SOLD OUT".

he says he's managed to get the last three seats for "Shanghai Knights",

which is great because I was thinking of switching to the only other

available film "Confessions of a Dangerous Mind", figuring we could at

least try to stay with the program and see something from our festival list.

we saw the spanish version of "Harry Potter", no?" I tell Lydia.

Empire Plaza is like the lobby of the Grand Hyatt hotel in NYC."

straight up at the screen, Jackie Chan and Owen Wilson towering over

us, distorted by extreme perspective. Their legs and feet are re-huge

and their heads are re-tiny. Our necks re-hurt already.

I decide to stick it out where we are. "This may be a bit re-difficult,"

detective teamed up with Owen Wilson, playing the american cowboy

Roy Rogers. Together they travel to London, played in part by Carlsbad in

the Czech Republic, where they KungFu fight evil chinamen from the

Boxer rebellion, in such touristy settings as the Tower of London and

Big Ben, Madame Toussaud's Wax Museum and the Covent Gardens market, all to

the strains of Roger Miller incongruously singing his own "England Swings",

Herman's Hermit's "Henery the Eighth", Dave Clark Five's "Glad All Over,

the Beau Brummels "Laugh Laugh", the Beatles "Paperback Writer" and finally

even including a moment of Miller's early big hit: "Dang Me"

Aughta take a rope and hang me.

Hang me from the highest tree,

Woman would you weep for me?

Doop-doop-doop-doop-de-doo-da-doo-doo-do

a young Buster Keaton, and a bean-pole of an actor named Tom

Fisher who plays a Scotland Yard inspector-would-be-writer-of-

detective-novels named Ian, who at the end of the film, after

the intrepid team has saved the Queen of England and her entire

family of successors, is dubbed Sir Ian Flemming who as we all know,

goes on to write the brilliant series of James Bond novels.

The rest as they say, is history.

it impossible to attend to any characters other than the one

or two right in front of my face, so, I missed him.

and I try to get my head and neck back into normal alignment,

I ask Lydia if she saw Steve.

in the restaurant where Jackie Chan flips the dinner table up

in the air, while spinning around karate-chopping the ninjas

who were trying to sneak up on him as he was drinking a cup

of tea. Steve's the guy who catches the three-layer cake as

it flies through the air, just before landing on the floor

face down. He's the one who then hands it to Owen Wilson,

as his Roy character says, with a crooked smile, "Nice

fucking catch, mate!""

Owen Wilson - 18 degrees

Steve's slapstick stunt - 33 degrees

Once again we’re late to the movie. However this time it’s Hoyts Cinema 18, smack dab in the middle of teen culture heaven, on a Saturday night. We’re at Crossgates mall. As I try to keep the required 6 feet from my father at all times while my eyes scan the halls for people I know, I also have the job of looking for Edgardo who we are supposed to meet for the movie. I think, I should have just gone to the wrestling match with Lisa, as I see a girl who I used to know look at me and look at my father and make the according calculations in her fake blonde head. Her boyfriend is cute. I’m mad.

When we finally get into the theater where I’m sure no one can possibly see me, it’s packed. The only place left where the three of us can sit together is the very front row directly under the screen. I can’t see without pulling some yoga neck breaking back bending move. I tell my dad and Edgardo I’m going to find a better place to sit. That place ends up being the aisle seat of a three seat spot next to two very cute boys. I’m am suddenly happy again. I ask, “Is anyone sitting here?” they say “no” I say “ok” and go ahead and take the seat. I feel their eyes on me as I remove my purse, my jacket, my shirt … Just kidding. They were interested in the movie. I turn my attention to the screen where I realize I have probably missed a good 30-min. of the movie.

I try to follow along as best I can. Feeling stupid when I jump at the part where the tiger jumps at you and such, I start to realize that Jackie Chan (playing the Shanghai Kid a.k.a. John Wayne) and Owen Wilson (playing Roy O’Bannon) are on the run from the law for some reason. Then they end up in London to look for a lost chinese family seal of some sort, and John’s sister who turns out to be gorgeous. The lusty Roy immediately falls for this Chinese kung fu fighting beauty, but John isn’t into the idea. By the end of the movie you have learned: the importance of friendship; that love will conquer all; and that evil never wins. A confusing plot, but maybe that’s because I may have missed the most important part, the beginning. Also I spent a lot of time looking for my dad’s friend Steve who ultimately I spot in name only, in the credits:

Steve Fisher – Headwaiter.

“Maybe he was in the beginning of the movie,” I tell Dad, trying to hint to him the importance of being on time. I join Dad and Edgardo during the outtakes, a little disappointed because I didn’t get the boys’ names let alone their screen names.
I try to tell myself that they did look a little young.

Anyway, I pretty much liked the movie because it was funny, and I kinda know someone who’s in it. Overall, I give it 22 degrees.